Falling in love with your best friend is a very common tale. You’ve walked that road. Now you want to know how to make her fall in love with you. The good news is that you’ve already accomplished the hardest part.
When it comes to getting a girl to fall in love with you, creating an emotional connection and a sense of trust and safety are the hardest things to do. You’ve already done this — that’s why you two are best friends. What you need to do now is change the dynamic of your relationship, moving from trusted friend to the type of man she can see herself having passion with.
To get her to reciprocate your love, you’re going to need to start setting boundaries. What this means is that you need to stop being there for all her emotional needs. For example, if she’s always coming to you to complain about her love life, you need to set a boundary that stops that. It doesn’t have to be some grand declaration; It can be very simple actions, for example, don’t respond to her texts or screening her calls using voice mail until you know why she wants to talk.
The biggest way that you’re going to start changing the dynamic of your relationship is to flirt. But how to flirt? Here’s a couple tips on making it happen the right way:
* Keep It Light: When it comes to flirting, you want to be playful. Think of yourself as being a self-amused little boy. Make her laugh, make her smile, get her having fun. Don’t take it too seriously and don’t go into it looking for her approval or acceptance. Remember, it’s a game and games are supposed to be fun.
* Roll With the Punches: When you start joking around and flirting, she’s going to make jokes to test you and see how well you react. The good news is that if she’s doing this, it means she’s interested. You just need to roll with it. For example, if she says something like “Too bad you’re short or else we could date,” you say “Too bad you’re so tall!” You can also say things that deflate the joke like “You’re like my little sister — cute, but annoying.”
Above all don’t get flustered or ruffled. Remember, you’re self-amused and don’t need anyone else’s approval.
Leave Her Wanting More
Whether you’re trying to get your best friend to fall in love with you or a girl you just met, leaving her wanting more is one of the best tools to have in the box. How do you do that?
* Time: Get together for short things that allow you two to have fun together for a set period of time. Good examples of these kinds of dates include going to comedy shows, a round of mini golf or going to a carnival together.
* Talk: At a high point during the interaction, tell her how much fun you’re having, but no more than twice on a single date. Make sure to tell her that you’re attracted to her for reasons other than her appearance.
* Touch: Touching dramatically increases intimacy. Her forearms, shoulders and upper back are totally “safe” places where you can touch her. Plus, touching her gives her permission to start touching you.
Combine these three and she’s going to start spending a lot of time missing you when you aren’t around.
Build Your Confidence
It’s true: The sexist thing to a woman is confidence. Getting your best friend to fall in love with you is going to require you building your confidence. I know what you’re thinking: Easier said than done. But you can build your confidence. Here’s how:
* Better Body Language: Adopting the body language of a confident man will eventually make you more confident. Smile a lot and do “body checks” throughout the day: Are you standing up straight, for example? You’ll be amazed at how much difference this makes and how quickly it makes it.
* Get Used to Talking to Women: Whenever you have the time, go out and talk to women. It doesn’t matter if this is at your favorite bar or a strip club: The point is to get comfortable with talking to beautiful women without getting rattled. Talk to women without trying to pick them up. Instead, just get used to being around them and chatting.
* Act As If: “Act as if” is also known as “fake it until you make it.” It’s scientifically proven to work. If you want to be a confident guy, take a look around you and see how confident men act. Pretend that you’ve already achieved your goal. It will bring you that much closer to actually achieving it.
* Get Physical: A lot of guys lack confidence because they’re not in touch with their bodies. If you aren’t exercising regularly, do it. Not only is it good for you, it’s going to get you feeling better about yourself. If you’re having trouble getting motivated, start going with a buddy.
* Treat Yourself: One way to start feeling more confident instantly is to get some new threads. Dig through men’s magazines and then hit up the mall or a hip vintage store. If you’re not much of a clotheshorse, ask the sales girl for help. Even a new pair of jeans and a t-shirt can have you feeling like a million bucks. Ditto on a haircut.
Just a few simple things can start unlocking the confidence that you already have within — and getting your best friend to fall in love with you.
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