HOW TO MEET PEOPLE PART 2

CONTINUATION FROM LAST POST ...


At a party

A party may be held by a friend, through your job, or through an association at your school. You could also throw one yourself. Either way, they gather a lot of people together, who are all pretty open to mingling with each other and making new contacts.

An individual sport

If team sports aren't your thing then you can still get a lot out of more individual sports where people gather together to train or compete.

• If you play a competitive individual sport then you can meet the people you play against. Your gym may have a day where people can show up at a certain time and then pair off to play. Some will have bulletin boards where you can leave notices or put your name on a sheet to find opponents.
• Another broad category is sports where people show up at one place to train together. Martial arts gyms, skate parks, or rock climbing gyms are good examples. These places usually have a pretty informal atmosphere and it's common for people to chat or help each other out (e.g., holding the pad while one person practices their kicks, belaying someone or giving them pointers, etc.)
• Finally, there are some individual sports like swimming, where everyone pretty much does their own thing, but they all have to show up at the same place to do it. After a while you're bound to end up talking to some of the other regulars.

Online

This method still has a bit of an outdated stigma attached to it, but pretty much everyone does it at some point. If you're already online a lot you may as well take advantage of it to make some friends.

• You could use a site like Craigslist as a bulletin board and advertise for a running buddy or to announce a club you're organizing.
• You could go on a site like Meetup.com to find people interested in the same things as you.
• Some people use online dating sites to look for friends. In their profile they'll say something like how they're new in town and are just looking for people to hang out with, not to date.
• On forums related to things like music or bands you can announce you're going to a certain event and put out an invitation for anyone else who's coming to meet up with you.
• You can meet up with people from a website you frequent in real life. Discussion forums often arrange local meet ups. Other types of conversation-oriented sites do the same thing (e.g., social news sites like Reddit.com, large blogs with active communities).

One issue with meeting possible friends through sites where the members have time to build a presence for themselves is that sometimes people portray themselves a certain way online, and come across totally differently in real life (whether intentionally or not). This can lead to disappointment on either end. Sometimes you'll be disappointed in the people you meet. At other times it's you 's doing the disappointing. The latter can be quite the knock to your self-esteem. Be aware of this, especially if you tend to come off as awkward in real life, but are confident when you're behind a keyboard.

A solitary activity that you can make social

If you have an interest that you normally partake in on your own, you may be able to introduce a social element into it. For example, if you like running, then put out a call for a running buddy. If you normally mountain bike by yourself then you could find a group that rides together on the weekends. If you like reading you could start a book club. If you like playing an instrument then start a band or join one. If you're a writer you could organize a group where people meet to share what they've been working on and help each other improve. If you're into comics or card games maybe you can hang around the store with the other hobbyists instead of staying at home.

If you think a certain type of group or club would help you but there isn't one around then try starting one yourself. As I mention at the start of this article on making plans being an organizer is a powerful way to take charge of your social options.

Having something to offer other people

This works in two ways: First, it can cause people to seek you out. Second, it gives you leverage to approach other people. With this approach you do have to be careful not to let yourself get used. If there's something you have that other people appreciate, there's nothing wrong with leveraging it a little, but don't let yourself be taken advantage of by someone who has no interest in being your friend.

There are tons of examples:

• If you're good at something, and have a reputation for being helpful, then people will come to you for advice. For example you may be one of the better people at the rock climbing gym, and if you're not too aloof people will come to you for pointers. Maybe you're a good person to come to for help about a certain class, or you're handy with computers.
• If you're a good artist you could join a club and offer your services, like volunteering to design the posters for an association's pub night.
• You may have access to something other people like or find useful, like a car, cottage, nice apartment, or connections to get into certain bars for free.

Any sport or hobby where people congregate at a designated time and place

Near where you live there may be a basketball court with a pickup game that goes on every Saturday morning. There may be a spot at the university where every Monday at 9pm students who are interested in break dancing get together to practice. Every Sunday morning at a nearby nondescript parking lot hobbyists may meet to screw around with their remote controlled cars. If you're into the same kind of stuff, you can show up and join in.

Bars or pubs

First, if you hang around a place long enough eventually you'll see who the other regulars are and it will only be natural to get to know them. This is one of those cases where familiarity breeds trust and liking. Also, if you play a game like pool, darts, or air hockey you can ask other people to play against you. You're bound to talk to them as you play.

A part of town where people from a certain group tend to hang out

If you identify with a certain scene or subculture and know other people from that group usually hang around in a certain area, then go there as well. You may end up striking up a conversation with someone you have a lot in common with, especially once you've been seen around enough that other people decide you're probably alright.

Crowded places (e.g., a small bar with music, comedy, or readings)

If you're going to a book reading you may meet some people just because the circumstances force everyone to sit close together, or ask to share a table. Often it's only natural that you chat to each other a bit next.

Random events

Grab the local free lefty paper, or go to Craigslist.com for your city, and check out the section with a list of events that are happening that week. There can be some pretty random stuff in there. Go to any that strike your fancy. Some of them may be a bust in terms of meeting people, but if nothing else you'll get to have some new experiences.

Public places

You know, coffee shops, museums, the grocery store. This is another suggestion you tend to see across multiple articles on how to meet people. It can work, sure, especially if you're very outgoing, but I think the ideas above are easier.