Do you know that your relationship with your parents can have a lasting impact on your life?
Do you know that your relationship with your mother and father can affect the way you deal with people throughout your life?
Some people mistakenly believe that human beings are born with certain genes that determine their personalities forgetting that the human brain is flexible enough to develop in different ways depending on the factors that affected its development.
Parenting is one of the factors that shapes a child's personality and that determines some of the basic building blocks of his psychological makeup.
As soon as the child is born he find himself in direct contact with his parents. The way those parents treat the child affects the way he sees people and the world.
In this article i will tell you how the relationship with the parents affects a child's personality.
The relationship with the mother
The mother is the first female a child comes in contact with and based on his relationship with her he develops his own idea about women in general.
If the mother was emotionally distant, unavailable or failed to display affection for the child then he might grow up feeling unloved even if other people loved him.
If the child was raised in a house were the woman was so controlling then he might either fall in love with controlling women or he might repel all attempts of people who try to control him. The choice that the child will make will depend on the other factors he got subjected to while developing his personality.
In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that if the child was a male and if he loved his mother so much then he might fall in love with any woman who resemble her in a way or another. The opposite will happen if the child hated his mother.
If the mother was cruel and unkind then the child might develop commitment issues simply because he might not be able to trust a woman.
In short, the way a child sees his mother determines the way he will think of all other females he will come across in his life.
The relationship with the father
The relationship with the father determines the child's relationship with all the males he will come across later on. One popular case is the one where a girl develops commitment issues because her father was unfaithful to her mother.
The child usually becomes more attached to one parent and takes his side (the side of the mother or the father) and this side he takes affects his perception of people throughout his life. (see Child attachment to one parent)
If the child took the side of his father then he might believe that women are bad, evil or not loyal. The opposite will happen if the child took the side of his mother.
When the father's love is absent the female child might start to seek love in different ways and as a result she might become extremely insecure in relationships. (see also How parenting styles impact children)
Adults will usually try to avoid going through the same bad experience that they went through in their childhood. If the father left the mother and if the female child took the side of the mother then when she grows up she will become extremely insecure around males because she wont want her man to abandon her as well.
In short the relationship with the father and mother determines the way a child sees all the other human beings he will come in contact with.
What happens when one parent is absent?
Its not the relationship with the father and mother that affects the child's life but its the relationship with the caregiver. If a child was raised by his grandparents then his relationship with his grandfather will affect his relationship with men and vise versa.
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